The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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