It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
