Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
