If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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