your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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