very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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