Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You pole danced in your parka.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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