Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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