Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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