So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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