You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
