Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
