..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
