I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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