who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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