There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
