my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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