What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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