you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize