You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she peed on how many people?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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