There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
my poor anus
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
