is your mom at the bar?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
