Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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