So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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