My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
