The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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