Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
