Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
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he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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