Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
