omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
