I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am available for nakedness
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