I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize