I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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