Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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