her vagina looked like bernie madoff
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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