hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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