I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We left the knife in your bed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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