How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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