Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
