He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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