I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
