I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my being single is dangerous.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
