You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize