I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
