But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just cut my nipple shaving
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
