i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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