she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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