Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
