you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
