i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
