whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Verdict: uncircumcised.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
