oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
