rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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