Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
