so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
