u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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