walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
