The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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