He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
