its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!