you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!