All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.