my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender