Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
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We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?