When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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