Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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