I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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