It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
