I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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