she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
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question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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