she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
