I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
